Etiquette for Addressing Wedding Invites to an Apartment

When considering the wording you use on your envelopes, keep in mind that a wedding is an extremely formal occasion. Unless you have sent out save-the-date cards, your invitation is the first impression people will have of your wedding, whether it is formal or casual, in a church or a friend's backyard.

General Rules

When addressing an envelope be sure to address the envelope by hand. If it seems overwhelming, enlist the help of bridesmaids and family who have nice handwriting. You may also want to consider hiring a professional calligraphy service. Do not ever use address labels. Try to avoid exceeding five lines when addressing envelopes.

Addressing to an Apartment

The first line of the address is where the names of the guests appear. Use formal first names, (for example Abigail as opposed to Abby). A second title line can be used for another guest name; otherwise it should have the street address or post office box. All words in the address should be spelled out, including single digit street numbers. A street name that is a number can be written two ways--123 East 3rd Street or 123 East Third Street. A sample address containing an apartment would look something like this:
Mr. And Mrs. John Doe
213 South Maple Street Apartment 3
Chino, California 91710

Addressing to an Apartment and Building

If addressing an envelope to a building and apartment, you may need to use two lines to fit the street address. The envelope may become complicated in the rare case that you have already used two lines for the name. An example address to an apartment and building is as follows:
Mr. And Mrs. John Doe
213 South Maple Street Building 4
Apartment 12
Chino, California 91710

Alternative Options

Always remember that if you do not follow the wedding etiquette rules for addressing an envelope to an apartment or building there are usually no serious repercussions (unless you upset the great aunt who is paying for the wedding). Feel free to change or adjust your envelope to suit your personal style and the formality of your wedding.

Other Etiquette

Send out your invitations six to eight weeks in advance to allow your guests enough time to clear their schedules and make travel arrangements. Save-the-date cards can be sent up to three months in advance, and the information for destination weddings may be sent up to six months in advance. Be sure your response card envelopes have stamps on them as an added courtesy to your guests.

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Wedding Invitation Etiquette for Three Sets of Parents

Exhibiting the proper etiquette and wording in your wedding invitations when there are three sets of parents hosting your wedding prevents complications such as hurt feelings or leaving someone out. Determine the best invitation wording based on the formality of your wedding, who is paying for--or hosting--the wedding and the relationships you and your betrothed have with everyone involved.

From the Parents

List each set of parents on the invitation if all of them are paying for the wedding or if it's important to you and your fiance. Formal weddings typically include at least the bride's parents' names. If the bride's parents are divorced and remarried and all of the parents are helping host, invitations could be worded like:
"Mr. and Mrs. Joe Smith and Mr. and Mrs. Steven Jenkins
and
Mr. and Mrs. Robert Jackson
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their children..."
The bride's mother is listed first, then her father, followed by the groom's parents. If the bride's divorced parents are co-hosting but you'd still like to include the groom's parents as well, you could use the following wording:
"Mr. and Mrs. Joe Smith and Mr. and Mrs. Steven Jenkins
request the honour of your presence
at the marriage of their daughter
Jennifer Marie Jenkins
and
Raymond Earl Jackson
son of
Mr. and Mrs. Robert Jackson..."
If the groom's parents are divorced and remarried, the groom's mother would be listed first, followed by his father, using the same format. If the bride's mother is unmarried, drop all of the titles and use her first, maiden and married name unless she has gone back to her maiden name, in which case you'd list her first and maiden name.
For a less formal wedding, or if you'd like to name each parent, list them as "Joe and Jacki Smith and Steven and Sarah Jenkins."

From the Couple

Using invitations that list only the bride and groom's names is another option if you are hosting your own wedding, don't want to exclude or include certain parents or stepparents or just want to cut down on too many names being mentioned to avoid confusing or overwhelming your guests.
If everyone is contributing to the cost of the wedding, you could use:
"Together with their parents,
Jennifer Marie Jenkins
and
Raymond Earl Jackson
request the honour of your presence
at their marriage..."
Or, simply issue the invitations from both of you:
"Jennifer Marie Jenkins
and
Raymond Earl Jackson
request the honour of your presence..."

Things to Consider

Marrying your fiance is supposed to bring your families together and create or strengthen relationships and bonds you both have with your families. If one of you has a new stepparent that you don't wish to include on the actual invitation, or worse, the other parent would be hurt by it, consider not mentioning any names on the invitations, but include the parents' names on your wedding program. Before ordering any of your wedding stationery, particularly your invitations, give each parent a copy of your plans to address any complaints or concerns. This way no one is surprised and you can adjust the wording if necessary.

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Wedding Etiquette for Kids

Children often take part in weddings, serving as the ring bearer or flower girl. However, couples might not know how to handle children at their weddings beyond these basic roles. From how you extend invitations to children to how you keep them occupied at your reception, there are a number of considerations to make when including children at your wedding. Follow basic etiquette guidelines when inviting even the youngest of guests.

Invitations

If you are inviting children to your wedding, include their names on the invitation. On the outer envelope, list the children's names underneath the parents' names. Use first names only, such as "Jack, Jill and Jane." Include those names on the inner envelope as well, again under the parents' names.

Menu

If you expect to have a number of kids at your reception, consider offering a special kids' meal. This is especially important if you are having a plated reception, as you won't want to serve---or pay for---filet mignon for a six-year-old. Most venues and caterers can offer a kid-friendly meal that will please your younger guests and be light on your wallet.

Entertainment

Consider seating children together at a special kids' table. You can include coloring books and small toys at the table to keep kids occupied as they wait for dinner.

Babysitting

If you want to give parents a break and keep the kids entertained, consider hiring a babysitter for the reception. After the kids eat, they can relocate to a private room where they can watch movies or play with toys. This creates a more adult atmosphere for your reception and allows guests to let loose without worrying about their kids.

Adults-Only Reception

If you do not want children at your reception, clearly indicate this on your invitation. Super Weddings.com suggests including "Adults-Only Reception" or "Adult Reception" on the bottom of your invitation. Include this stipulation on all invitations, so that you do not single out parents.

Etiquette for Guests

If you receive a wedding invitation that states that the reception is for adults only, do not bring your children or ask for an exception. According to The Emily Post Institute, unless your children receive a separate invitation or have their names listed on your invitation, you can assume that they are not invited to the wedding.

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Wedding Etiquette at Italian Weddings

Individuals of Italian heritage who are planning getting married will likely want to incorporate elements of the culture into their wedding ceremony and reception. It's important to be aware of some essential Italian wedding etiquette rules to make the ceremony especially sentimental.

Wedding Attire

Wedding guests should be dressed elegantly for an Italian wedding, but it is best to avoid outfits that are too gaudy or revealing. Women should not wear blouses or dresses with plunging necklines; dresses with excessive amounts of rhinestones or sequins should be avoided, as these articles of clothing garner too much attention, and the bride is to be the central focus of the celebration. Men should wear a dark suit (black or navy blue); however a navy blue sport coat and slacks is acceptable.

Etiquette for Groom

In northern Italy, it is customary for the groom to wait at the steps of the church for his bride to arrive, with a bouquet of flowers to present to her. In some parts of Italy, proper wedding etiquette suggests that the groom is responsible for walking the bride, along with the wedding party, to the church where the ceremony will take place. When the groom walks the bride up to the church doors, the two will often find a ribbon tied to some part of the door knob or handle, symbolizing the union the two are preparing to enter into.

Etiquette for Bride

The wearing of the bridal veil is a tradition that originated in Italy, according to Life in Italy.com. The veil represents the bride purity, and traditional veils cover the bride's entire face, so that she can be "revealed" at the end of the ceremony. While the bride and groom are greeting guests and thanking them for coming to the ceremony and reception, the bride is also responsible for handing out the Italian wedding favors, which are candy-coated almonds called "confetti." Each guests is given five almonds in a small decorated pouch to represent happiness, health, wealth, long life and fertility.

Wedding Toasts

Proper etiquette indicates that the father of the bride is the first to make a toast at the reception. After this, the best man is in charge of giving the toast that will take place right before dinner, known as the "per cent'anni," which is a wish for the bride and groom to stay together for one hundred years. Other toasts can also be made throughout the night by friends and family members, including the "evviva gli sposi," which is a cheer for the new couple. The groom receives "demands" from the crowd to kiss his new bride, and guests also kiss the bride for good luck.

Reception Dances

Lively music is often played at Italian wedding receptions, particularly at celebrations in southern Italy. The bride and groom should be the first to dance, according to etiquette. After this, the bride shares a dance with her father, and the groom dances with his mother. Guests are also encouraged to dance with the bride and groom during the reception; male guests dance with the bride, and female guests dance with the groom. It is customary to give the couple money during this time as well; the bride often carries a purse or "bursa" with her while dancing. When money is collected, it is given to an older family member for safe keeping until after the reception.

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The Best Man Wedding Etiquette

A bachelor party, a toast, the rings--as the groom's closest friend--a best man has several duties and responsibilities. From helping pick out the tuxedos to even driving the couple to the hotel or the airport, a best man is someone the groom can count on to help make the wedding a success.

Weddings are dependent on tradition, and the best man is an important role. There are some dos and don'ts for the best man to remember.

Before the Wedding

The best man is the groom's confidante. It's not enough just to show up. He needs to be there for support. If the groom is taking responsibility planning the honeymoon, ask if he needs help or offer suggestions.
A bride and groom often decide together whether the wedding will be formal, dress or casual. A best man should coordinate with the groom and other groomsmen on either renting a tuxedo or buying a suit. This is one time when it's important for "the guys" to shop together. A best man traditionally pays for his own attire for the wedding, as do the other groomsmen.
Act as a liaison rounding up the other groomsmen, so the groom doesn't have to make the calls. Then follow up and ensure that everyone has their suit or tux and know exactly where to be on the wedding day.

The Bachelor Party

Wilder is not better when it comes to a bachelor party, especially if the party is the night before the wedding. It might be best to plan the event for a week before the big event. Remember to keep the bride in mind as you plan. "Mild and wild" is the best motto.
After all, your best friend has found his lifelong partner and you don't want to be in the middle of a break up because of a party you planned. Another thing to remember is to keep the pictures and videos to a minimum and be discreet about the photos you do take.
The best man and groomsmen plan and pay for the party.

At the Wedding

The best man acts as a valet for the groom before the wedding. Be dressed early and ride with him to the church or wedding site as well as helping him get dressed.
Make sure the groom has the marriage license with him. If the groom and bride are leaving for the honeymoon right after the reception, make sure the groom has the tickets, passports and identification they will need. Traditionally, the groomsmen and groom are ready and waiting for the bride. Bring some cards or a game system to help pass time before the ceremony. This might help a nervous groom relax.
Remember to have the rings handy so you won't need to fumble around for them during the ceremony.

The Toast

A best man's toast at the wedding reception is his most important role. It's okay to be funny, but remember this is not amateur night at the Improv. Don't bring up the groom's or brides's former flames and don't talk about the groom's sexual exploits before he met Mrs. Right.
Keep the toast short and focus on the couple. Share a special story about the two of them together. Say something nice about the bride and toast the bridesmaids for their part in the wedding.
Remember, the toast is about the bride and groom, not you. Don't wing it. If you need to write your speech or a few notes down, type it out and print it so that you can refer to it occasionally.
Author John Bowden suggests including a memorable quote in the toast. And if you are really nervous about how it sounds, practice in front of a mirror or run it by one of the other groomsmen or the maid of honor if you know her well. It's OK to have a drink before you give the toast but it's not OK to be drunk.

After the Wedding

The ceremony's over, but that doesn't mean the best man is off the hook. After the nuptials, he should sign the marriage license as a witness. Often the groom will entrust the best man with the money that is due to the minister.
The best man should dance with the bride, both mothers and the bridesmaids at the reception. Traditionally, it is the best man and groomsmen who decorate the car the couple will use to depart the reception. The best man also bears the duty of "tasteful decorating," keeping the bride in mind.
Check with the groom and arrange to help load any luggage into the vehicle before the ceremony.

Other Duties

If the couple is leaving on a honeymoon, the best man should ensure the groom's tuxedo is returned to the rental store in a timely manner. Take these duties seriously. Being a best man is more than an honor. What you do as best man often sets the tone for your friendship with the groom after his marriage.

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Address Etiquette for Rehearsal Dinner Invitations

Every detail of a wedding during each step of the process has its own set of rules and proper etiquette guidelines. The rehearsal dinner invitations are no different. The person, or couple, hosting the rehearsal dinner needs to determine how formal it will be, where it will be, who to invite and how formal the invitations should be. The dinner and invitations should never outshine those for the wedding, but should rather complement the wedding. After the rehearsal dinner plans are made, it's time to choose invitations and send them off.

Invitation Basics

Invitations to the wedding rehearsal dinner can be simple hand-written notes or elegant engraved cards;however they should never be more formal or fancy than the wedding invitations. They can even be "informals," which are small fold-over cards with the names of the hosts (e.g., Mr. and Mrs. Mathews) engraved in black or navy ink centered on the front, or fill-in-the-blank invitations.
The bride, groom, their parents, grandparents, the wedding party and their families should all be invited to the dinner. Inviting out-of-town guests is not require; however, it is a nice gesture.
Send the invitations out two to four weeks before the dinner so everyone has time to coordinate and plan their schedule. Include RSVP information for a final head count.

Addressing the Envelope

Envelopes for the rehearsal dinner invitations should include the names of all invited guests. For instance, if the bride's father is a doctor and she has underage siblings at home, the envelope could be addressed to "Dr. and Mrs. James Smith and Family." However, if her underage brother is also in the wedding, he should receive his own invitation in which "Mr." could be used, or skipped.
For children who are in the wedding party, consider addressing the family's invitation to the child and family, such as "Emily Smith and Family" which will make her feel honored and special.

Addressing Titles Within the Invitation

The formality of the dinner will likely govern how formal the invitation wording is. For an elegant sit-down dinner, the invitations may be more formal with wording such as t
"Mr. and Mrs. Johnson request your presence...."
The bride and groom's names are usually listed using their first names only, even if the groom's parents, or whoever is hosting the dinner, chooses to use a formal approach to their own names. On the other hand, the hosts can opt to use their first names as well if that is how they'd like to be addressed at the rehearsal dinner. In other words, if you'd like to be on a first-name basis at the dinner, try such wording as "Eric and Janet Johnson request your presence at the Rehearsal Dinner honoring Laura and Kevin...."
Choose straightforward wording to list pertinent information or try a cute poem to add to a lighthearted, relaxed atmosphere.

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How to List Step Parents in a Wedding Program

Wedding programs serve a couple of purposes. They let your guests know what to expect during the ceremony and enable them to follow along, even during cultural traditions or religious prayers they may not be familiar with. Programs make wonderful keepsakes from your wedding. They also serve to let guests know who's who, which is particularly helpful for a large wedding or when there are unconventional people you would like to include and introduce, such as step parents.

If You're Close

List step parents in a meaningful way, particularly if they are close to you or your fiance. For example, if the bride's mother remarried when she was young and she's close to her stepfather, he should be mentioned. Likewise, her father's current wife should be listed as well. If you're close to one, but not the other, you should still list them equally to avoid being disrespectful or causing hurt feelings. After all, the day should be about you getting married, not sniveling parents or step parents.
Under the "parents" section of your program, list them like this:
"Parents of the Bride
Judy and John Smith (mom and step dad's name)
and
Billy and Brenda Brown (dad and step mom's name)"
Avoid using the term "step" if possible because it may hurt someone's feelings. It may also be considered rude, unless you are naming a specific duty along with the title. The wording should ultimately include all parties without making any of them feel slighted.
Another option is to include the step parents in some way. Perhaps your stepfather can be an usher or groomsman, and your stepmother can read a passage or poem. When you list their names alongside their roles, you can include "bride's stepfather" or whatever the proper title may be.

If You Aren't Close

When it comes to step parents that you aren't close to, or perhaps the groom's dad is on wife number six, you don't have to include them if you don't want to. However, if that would make your parents upset or if you are including one step parent because you are close, or friendly, it's only polite to include them all. For generic wording if you aren't particularly close to either, you could use:
"Groom's Parents:
Jenna Baker escorted by her husband Leo Baker
and
Adam Cobb escorted by his wife Leah Cobb"

Other Ideas

To avoid snubbing the parents, particularly if one parent has remarried while the other hasn't, try alternative ways of including the step parents. Perhaps only the biological parents could be listed under the "parents" section. However, differentiate between parents who are no longer married, even if they still share the same last name. For example:
"Parents of the Bride
Margaret Williams
and
Peter Williams
Parents of the Groom:
Sally Mason
and
Gene Smith"
Then, create another section to add step parents, such as a "step parents" section or "other mentions" section. They could be listed as follows:
"Bride's Stepmother
Trisha Williams
Groom's Step parents
Michael Mason
and
Rita Smith"
It is best if you can list the step parents names next to their spouse's names to avoid further confusion. In the case of an irritated parent not wanting the step parent under the "parents" section, use terms such as "bride's family" instead of "parents."

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Etiquette for Wedding Reception Times

A wedding reception is an exciting event. It follows the wedding service and provides the bride and groom with a chance to relax a little after the ceremony and spend some time interacting with the guests. The reception also provides a way for the bride and groom to thank the guests for coming to the wedding by providing them with food and beverages. As with all parts of a wedding, there is etiquette to bear in mind with regard to wedding reception times, and brides and grooms should plan carefully in order to take the needs of guests into account and to ensure that everyone has the best possible time at the reception.

After the Wedding

Most brides and grooms plan for the photographs to be taken after the wedding ceremony is over but before the reception begins. The problem that arises, however, is when the photographs take too long and guests are waiting for the reception. The bride and groom should thus plan ahead to prevent the photographs from taking too long, even more so if they plan to have a receiving line to greet their guests. An acceptable time between the ceremony and the reception can be 30 to 45 minutes; when the wait time reaches upwards of an hour guests begin to get frustrated. The bride and groom should also make cocktails or some type of refreshment available during the wait.

Length of Reception

A standard wedding reception lasts anywhere from three to four hours, so the bride and groom should plan for guests to stay that long. The larger the guest list, however, the longer the potential for the reception to extend in time. There is nothing wrong with guests remaining at the reception after the bride and groom have left, however, so the wedding planners should be prepared to keep the food and beverages available for those who want to stay and continue the party.

Time of Day

Time of day is a factor to take into account for the length of the wedding reception. A morning wedding will have a shorter reception afterward, largely because guests might have other plans for the day. A wedding that is held in the late afternoon or evening, however, can have a reception that lasts well into the night. The wedding planners should consider the time of day during which the wedding and reception will be held in order to prepare for how long the reception needs to be.

Cutting It Short

While three to four hours is standard, wedding reception etiquette does allow for shorter receptions, particularly if there is a conflict at the venue. The reception should be at least one hour to one hour and a half, as long as the bride and groom use discretion in indicating time constraints to guests. The main goal, however, is that guests not be made to feel uncomfortable and the bride and groom be sure to welcome everyone and thank them for attending.

Late Guests

Wedding guests are, of course, encouraged to show up to the reception on time, particularly if the bride and groom plan a receiving line for greeting their guests. Some guests, however, will be unable to make it to the reception on time. Wedding etiquette discourages late guests at the ceremony, but the bride and groom should welcome late guests at the reception, since this is generally a more informal event.

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