Second Wedding, Do It Right This Time...

Tradition and etiquette dictates that second weddings should be simple and casual instead of being formal and extravagant. However, the number of second or encore wedding is sharply growing each year. Such ceremony is designed to celebrate two people who want to embark on a new marriage with different partners.

Etiquette In Announcing Your Engagement

The immediate concern in planning a second wedding is how to announce this to you children. The children should always be the first be notified of your decision to remarry, as this will combine two already-established families. Expect you children to be stressed by your move and they will need a certain amount of time to accept the situation.

The bride and groom’s parents should be the next to be informed and then the respective ex’s. The ex-wife or ex-husband should make an effort to appease the children and reassure them about their roles in the new family.

Engagement rings from the past should not be worn anymore based on second wedding etiquette. All signs of previous relationships should be taken away once planning for the wedding and announcements are made.

A second marriage can be announced informally such as advertising it in the newspaper, making e-mails and phone calls. Under second wedding etiquette, the couple does not have to host an engagement party but a small gathering can be organized where you can make that important announcement.

Who’s Going?

Just about anybody can attend your second wedding. However, in observance of second wedding etiquette ex-spouses and former in-laws should not be invited even if you are in speaking terms to avoid awkwardness among the other guests.

The bride and groom should calculate a realistic budget for the wedding. This is a rare chance to again have the wedding of your dreams, it could be elegant, extravagant and intimate.

Vows and Ceremonies

Second wedding are normally made in civil ceremonies but can also be done in a religious ceremony. They are many ways to make the ceremony fell very intimate and special. Writing vows is common among second wedding and there is an abundance of books written about it. The children can be assigned to do an important part of the ceremony in order to foster unity. They can escort you while walking the aisle, read passages from the bible or serve as attendants in the event.

The closest family members and friends of the new couple can walk down the aisle or no one at all.

• Are Bridal Showers Needed?
• Bridal showers for encore brides are normally but this need to adhere with second etiquette rules.

Only guests should be invited

Club, Office and school showers can also be done and can be attende by other not on the official guest list. However, those that attended the bride’s first wedding should not participate.

Wedding Gifts and Registry

Guest should make they register. Some guests will have the uncontrollable urge to give something even if the couple does not want gifts.  It’s also acceptable for encore couples to sign in the gift registry.

Wedding Gift Ideas for Second Marriages

• Gift certificates—restaurants, spas, stores
• DVD player and DVDs
• Charity Donatios
• Coffee maker, pasta maker, cook books

Wedding Receptions and Parties
The reception of a second wedding may be extravagant or simple depending on the taste of the couple. The bride and gross will be first at the line and followed by their children. The traditional garter and bridal bouquet toss are optional.

Not Necessary In A Second Marriage

• Rehearsal Dinner
• Attendants
• Accompanying the bride down the aisle
• Procession

Advisable

• Make a gift registry even if you don’t want gifts.
• The children should have responsibilities in the ceremony.
• Customize and personalize the wedding and reception.

Please Avoid

• Doing the same things in like your first wedding.
• Wearing a similar wedding dress.
• Marry in the exact spot of your first wedding.
• Use old rings from a past marriage.
• Criticizing former spouses

Optional

• Showers
• Engagement Party
• Announcement in the newspaper
• Rehearsal Dinner
• A laving wedding with attendants
• Parents walking down the aisle
• A different color for the wedding dress instead of white

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A Guide To Second Wedding Etiquette

According to the website I Do Take Two, more than 30% of weddings are couples marrying for the second time (see Reference 1). While a second wedding can be a small, intimate celebration, it is also socially acceptable for the event to be as elaborate as the couple desires. Bridal showers, wearing white and the bridal party are other elements about which couples planning a second wedding often have questions.

The Engagement

Inform immediate family members, starting with your children, of the engagement before announcing it to the rest of the world. Engagement parties are acceptable, but not as gift-seeking occasions if thrown by the bride and groom. It is more acceptable for the couple to throw a party that is not specified as an engagement celebration and then announce their engagement at that occasion.

Showers and Gifts

It is perfectly acceptable to have a second bridal shower. As with first showers, invite only guests who will also be invited to the wedding. Guests who gave a gift at the first shower are not required to give another, but it is acceptable for them to do so if they wish. This same rule of etiquette applies to the wedding day gifts (see Reference 2).
Second showers offer an opportunity to incorporate a theme that reaches beyond the usual giving of household items. If the couple enjoys wine, for instance, the shower can be a wine-and-cheese-tasting party and guests can be advised to give a bottle of wine or related accessory. This allows for guests to feel as if they are contributing something to wish the couple well without duplicating a gift the bride likely received at her first shower.
It is acceptable to create a gift registry, but it is never a requirement for guests to purchase gifts from the registry. Since you may not need the household items traditionally given at first bridal showers, you may want to register for nonessential items such as that cappuccino maker you've always wanted, electronic devices or decorative items for the home. This is also a good time to seek replacements of worn, broken or lost items you have been meaning to replace on your own.

Wearing White

Once considered unacceptable, a second-time bride may wear white if she desires. The purity rule has become a thing of the past, and the choice between a white, off-white or pink gown has become a matter of personal taste and preference. Wear white if you desire and wear it comfortably, knowing you won't be looked down upon by the discerning eyes of etiquette.

The Bridal Party

Many second marriages are combining families of children and inviting the children to serve as the attendants has become commonplace. This is a way to honor the importance of the children to the parents as well as to symbolize the blending of two families.

The Reception

Receptions are about celebrating the marriage and there is no rule that states a second marriage is less important and therefore should be less extravagant than a first marriage. Most second weddings are paid for by the bride and groom as the parents are not expected to pay for two weddings. The size and elements of the reception should be dictated only by the couple's budget and personal preference.

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