The Couple
- Most second and third weddings concentrate more on the couple than on a big, fancy wedding. However, you can have a large, traditional wedding if that's your desire. The ceremony and reception can be as casual or formal as you'd like; only including your closest friends and family or inviting everyone you both know.
The bride can wear white or any other color that suits her. White does not mean purity as it once did, but rather joy. Many brides opt for a dress that incorporates color or has an interesting design.
The invitations should match the formality of the wedding, no matter how many times either party has been married. The invitation can feature only the couple's first names, or the bride's first, maiden and previous husband's last names.
Family and Friends
- Your guest list should include your closest friends and family, but should not include ex-spouses, in-laws or your ex's friends (unless they have been steady, good friends of yours as well). No mention should be made of previous relationships or spouses as the wedding is to celebrate the new love the couple has found with each other.
Children and grandchildren should be included in the event in one form or another. It is not OK to include the bride's children but not the groom's, or vice versa; unless the children won't be allowed to attend. Ideally, each child should equally be recognized and honored as a part of the new family unit being formed. Children can stand by their parents during the ceremony, participate in a unity candle or sand ceremony or be included in any way the couple sees fit.
Gifts
- Pre-wedding showers and gift-giving events are commonly excluded for third marriages. They are OK if someone other than family hosts (unless the family member is a part of the bridal party) and guests who have attended a shower for a previous wedding are not expected to bring gifts. It is OK to entirely skip these events as the main purpose is typically gifts. Plan an outing or picnic instead, letting guests know ahead of times that gifts are not expected or wanted.
The couple usually has everything they need to set up their household, in which case it would be proper, although not required, for the couple to request no gifts. The third wedding should be all about the unity of the couple, not creating an situation where your guests have to shell out money for yet another wedding gift. However, some guests will inevitably feel like they need to purchase a gift, in which case it may be nice to register. Allow your registry information to be spread via word-of-mouth. As with any other wedding, send guests a hand-written thank you note thanking them for sharing your day -- whether they gave a gift or not.
