Wedding Etiquette for a Return Address

Weddings are joyous occasions that require preparation that entails a significant amount of attention to detail and etiquette. Brides can be surprised at the extensive rules that are part of wedding etiquette. Wedding etiquette for a return address sets standards for brides to personalize their invitations and stationary. Brides must make decisions regarding the outer envelope, inner envelope, response card, calligraphy, and whose address to use when dealing with the wedding etiquette for a return address.

Outer Envelope

Make careful decisions about the return address on the outer envelope because it is the first thing that people will see. According to The Knot, "etiquette does say that you should never print addresses with a computer, but always hand write them. Remember, a wedding is an extremely intimate and personal event, and your invitations should reflect that." Although printing addresses is incorrect etiquette, some people believe that printed return addresses are not necessarily a poor choice to make. The decision is ultimately up to the bride and whether she can gather her mother and bridesmaids to help her hand write beautiful return addresses on each outer envelope.

Inner Envelope

Do not put a return address on the inner envelope. The inner envelope only has the name of the people invited and their children.

Response Card Envelope

Write or print the return address on the response card envelope for the people to ensure that the wedding party knows who is coming and what they will eat. According to Beaucoup.com, "response cards should be sent out accompanied by an addressed, pre-stamped envelope to encourage your guests to send it back." Make the response card look clean by choosing the neatest method to get the address on the envelope.

Calligraphy

Hire a professional calligrapher if the bride and her bridal party do not have good handwriting. According to Crane's, "calligraphy is a centuries-old art that was practiced in monasteries by monks who copied bibles and other important documents by hand." Calligraphy is significant because some some brides choose a formal, elegant style wedding, and it goes well with their theme.

Whose Address to Use

Determine whose address to use on the return address. According to The Knot, "the return address should be that of the person whom you've designated to receive response cards." The person whose return addresses is on the invitations and stationary envelopes will receive the gifts, response cards, and any invitations that the bride did not address properly. Traditionally, the bride's mother was on the return address, but many brides now use their own address.

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Things You Should Know About Wedding Buttonholes

Wedding buttonholes are designed to hold a small flower for the groom and his groomsmen. The boutonniere will coordinate with or complement the colors and types of wedding flowers. Buttonholes are a final touch which adds style to formal attire. The buttonhole should be of good quality. This will make a difference on how stylish the buttonhole will look on the wedding party. The term "buttonhole" is primarily British, while "boutonniere" is used to describe the same thing in the United States.

Types of Flowers

Most small flowers are suitable for a buttonhole. Popular options include tulips, calla lilies and roses. The groom can consult the bride to find out which flowers will be used in her bouquet. He can choose whether or not to match his buttonhole flower to the bouquet flowers or flowers that are used elsewhere in the ceremony or reception.

Alternatives

According to the Wedding Flowers Guide website, if the groom would prefer to not have a flower on his lapel, he can opt to have his buttonhole made from thistle, foliage or herbs. Beads can also be added to buttonholes for extra flair.

Groom's Buttonhole

While he does not have to, the groom can coordinate his buttonhole with the bride's bouquet to express their partnership and love for each other. This doesn't mean it needs to be the same flower. It can also be fashionable to choose a color which contrasts with the bride's flowers. The buttonhole can be different from the bride's flowers while still complementing them. For example, a mint green buttonhole will complement a pink bouquet.

Who Wears Buttonholes

Wedding etiquette clarifies that buttonholes should be worn by the groom, best man, ushers or groomsmen, father(s) of the bride and father(s) of the groom. If there are other important members of the wedding party or family, such as grandfathers or ring bearers, they can wear buttonholes as well.

How to Wear a Buttonhole

The flower should be worn on the outside of the buttonhole. The buttonhole itself should be on the left lapel. According to the Wedding Flowers Guide website, a pearl-headed pin can secure the buttonhole from the back side of the lapel; the pin will not show from the front. The flower should be pinned, so that it's pointing upward. How the groom and others choose to wear the pin depends on how decorative the pin is and whether or not it's considered a part of the ensemble. You can choose a dressy pin with an understated flower to make a statement. The groom can choose to coordinate his pin with jewelry the bride is wearing.

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A Guide to Wedding Etiquette for Master of Ceremonies

Wedding Masters of Ceremonies, or MCs, are responsible for managing the events that take place after a wedding ceremony. As the wedding MC, you really do not have much to do until after the ceremony takes place, unless the bride and groom request specific tasks from you during the rehearsal dinner or wedding ceremony. The wedding MC acts like a host at the wedding reception.

Equipment Check

On the morning of the wedding, be sure to set aside time to visit the reception venue to make sure all equipment, such as a PA system, microphone, speakers and projectors, are working properly. Coordinate a time for this task with the wedding coordinator or caterers. Sometimes, the venue may not be available due to other weddings or events. In that case, the first thing you should do following the ceremony is head over the the reception area and make sure all equipment is working properly. Test the microphone to make sure the levels are not too high or too low. It is helpful to bring someone else along to help you, especially if you have to set the equipment up yourself.

Announcements and Introductions

One of your first tasks that the public should see is announcing when the reception is about to begin. If the couple is hosting a cocktail hour before the reception, then you should clink your glass near the end and give people a 10 minute warning that the cocktail hour is about to end. Instruct them politely (and humorously if the mood is appropriate) to head into the reception area, and let them know where the name card table is if seats have been assigned.
Once everyone is in the reception (except for the bridal party), it is your job to introduce yourself as the MC so people expect you to run the show the rest of the night. Then, you will introduce the bridal party one by one. Be sure you have all name pronunciation worked out in advance; you do not want to mess someone's name up publicly. Once the bridal party is introduced, you will introduce the newlyweds.
If food is being served at the reception, you will also be in charge of telling people when it is being served, or if it is a buffet, you will instruct people to wait until their table is called. Usually, the caterers take care of releasing tables to the buffet, so do not worry about that unless you have been asked to do that particular task.
Finally, it is your job to introduce everyone who is giving a toast. Typically, the toasts take place at the end of the meal, before dessert is served. Introduce each speaker and their relationship to the couple, as well as wedding party title, like "Best Man."

Post-Dinner Activities

After dinner is served, you should announce the activities that typically take place, such as the cutting of the cake, the couple's first dance and the tossing of the bridal bouquet. At this point in the reception, it is okay to lighten up a little bit, especially if the first part of the reception was on the formal side of things. Also, be sure to announce when the dance floor is open for all guests to dance.

End of the Party

As the party is winding down, announce to the guests that the end of the night is near. If there is an after-party that all guests are invited to, you can give details for that event. Otherwise, thank people for coming, and give people a 10 or 15 minute warning that the couple is getting ready to leave. This gives everyone a chance to say goodbye and wish the couple a happy life together. If there is a set end time to the party, make this announcement 15 minutes before the end. If there is not a set end time, feel it out, and ask the couple about when they plan to leave so you can make the announcement accordingly.

Stick to the Script

A few weeks before the wedding (not a few days, as that time is stressful enough for the couple), sit down with the bride and groom to go over any details that are important to them. This is their wedding and party, and it is your job to make sure it goes as smoothly as possible. If they have special requests, such as a dedication to family members that have passed on, or specific ways to announce the food being served, listen carefully and stick closely to the instructions they give you.

Tips

Have fun. The bride and groom picked you to be the MC likely because you have an outgoing personality and are good at speaking to people. Enjoy your role as the MC, but do not bask in the spotlight too much; you do not want to steal the attention from the bride and groom. Do not talk like you are giving a business presentation or military address. Keep your tone casual and humorous, and go with the flow of the reception. If someone made a joke at the beginning, you can reference the joke once or twice throughout the night to get a collective laugh.
Finally, it is okay to have a few drinks, but do not overdo it. You do not want to slur your words or come off as though you have had a few too many. It looks bad for you, the wedding couple, the parents and the wedding itself. Remember that you will likely be on video and watched by the couple for years to come; if you ruin the mood by getting drunk, your relationship with the couple may be damaged forever.

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Widow's Second Marriage Wedding Etiquette

When a woman is getting married after the death of her first husband, the rules and etiquette surrounding the wedding are a little different. However, many aspects of the wedding planning are up to the bride's discretion, and she can even incorporate new family traditions that will make the day even more special.

Invitations

For a second wedding, the couple is responsible for distributing the invitations. This means that the bride and groom can make the invitations as original or intimate as possible. It is appropriate for a widow to include the title "Mrs.," as well as her married last name (given by her deceased husband) in the invitation. A young widow may choose to have her parents issue the invitations to her second wedding, even if her mother and father distributed the invitations for the first ceremony.
Since guest lists for second weddings are also usually shorter than for first weddings, original designs can be included in the invitations for a more affordable price, as well as personal messages thanking the couple's loved ones for their support and attendance.

Ceremony and Dress

A widow who is remarrying should include her children in the planning and participation of the wedding ceremony, if possible. Sons and daughters should be the first people to be notified when the widow decides to get married again, and should give their "blessing" to the new union. Daughters can serve as bridesmaids or maids of honor in the wedding, and the oldest son can walk his mother down the aisle and give her away, if the bride so chooses. However, more than one child, or the bride's best friend, can walk her down the aisle as well.
Widows, according to etiquette, should wear light purple or lilac for their second wedding, but some brides choose to wear white again, which is acceptable.

Reception

The reception can be as small or large as the new couple wants it to be. The wedding reception for a second marriage is not always hosted by the groom's family (which is traditional for first marriages), so the couple might choose instead to have a small dinner at a fine restaurant with close friends or loved ones, or to have a home dinner and celebration. If the reception is held at a larger venue, the receiving line should be different for a second wedding, according to etiquette, since the parents of the bride and groom may not be present. The bride and groom should be at the beginning of the receiving line, with their children next to them.

Gift Registry

For first marriages, many couples indicate the stores where they are registered in the invitation. This is often not the case for second marriages, and some couples decide that they don't want gifts. However, it's still a good idea to register for wedding presents in most cases, since guests will want to bring presents to express their love and support.
Second wedding gifts don't have to be traditional, and can be given to celebrate the lifestyle and habits of the new couple. Great gift ideas include electronics and gift baskets. Some couples ask that their guests make a donation to the bride or groom's favorite charity in lieu of a gift.

Additional Considerations

If the wedding and overall planning for the ceremony will be a little more low-key, it's not imperative for a widow to have wedding attendants, ushers or a large wedding party for her second wedding. A rehearsal dinner is also not required, but an engagement party, as well as an announcement in the paper about the wedding, is perfectly acceptable.

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Wedding Aisle Runner Etiquette

Planning a wedding means making sure that all the decorations and details are in place before the big day. If you're helping the bride with the decor for the chapel or church, it's important to know how to use the wedding aisle runner properly; a certain amount of etiquette should be maintained to ensure that the ceremony goes smoothly.

Rolling Out the Runner

The ushers are responsible for rolling out the wedding aisle runner. The runner should be rolled out from the front of the church to the back, and the roll does not have to be cut, as long the roll is not large enough for the wedding party to trip over. If the roll is going to be in the way, a utility knife and tape should be placed at the back of the church so that the ushers can cut the runner and tape it in place.

Who Walks on the Runner

Technically, the bridal party is permitted to walk on the runner in order to get to the front of the church. The runner should be rolled out before the wedding party starts to enter, since the flower girls, ring bearer, bridesmaids and groomsmen should walk down the runner to make for good pictures during the ceremony. However, some brides prefer to have the runner rolled out right before they enter, and this is acceptable as well.

Runner Material

Wedding aisle runners can be made from plastic or paper. However, it is usually in keeping with wedding runner etiquette to have a paper runner. The look of the runner is often more pleasing to the eye than plastic varieties, and having a paper wedding aisle runner reduces the chances of the bridesmaids getting their heels caught in the runner.

Decorated Wedding Aisle Runners

Brides who have chosen to have a custom painted aisle runner for their wedding should have the runner laid down after the flower decorations are complete. Sectioning off the center aisle with elegant material like chiffon or satin will help to keep the runner intact, since it will let guests know to access seats from the side aisles.

After the Wedding

After the wedding, the entire wedding party will walk on the runner, and guests will walk on the runner as well, since everyone will most likely be walking out of the church via the center aisle. The bride and groom walking out of the church on a custom-designed runner makes for great wedding pictures, but if ushers need to roll the runner back up, this should be noted in the wedding program.

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Details Of Wedding Attire for Guests

For a future Mr. and Mrs., organizing a wedding usually requires months of planning, thousands of dollars and stress. Aside from details like the venue, the flowers, the officiant and the bridal party, they must confront other details--like appropriate attire for their guests. As a wedding guest, a little preparation and consideration of traditional attire etiquette can go a long way and prevent creating more stress for the bride.

Dress Code

To gauge what style of attire you are expected to wear to the wedding, first check the invitation. The dress code may be printed somewhere on the card, usually in the lower left corner. You can also check the couple's wedding website. If you are still unsure, try to resist contacting the bride (who is likely already frazzled) and consider contacting a bridesmaid or the bride's mother to inquire. If you must contact the bride-to-be about this issue, do it well in advance of the big day.

Formal, Semiformal and Informal

Etiquette expert Peggy Post recommends choosing your wedding garb by determining whether the event is formal, semiformal or informal. You can also use the time of day to choose appropriate attire. For a daytime formal wedding, Post writes that women should wear street-length dressy clothing, and men should wear dark suits with ties. For an evening formal wedding (sometimes called "black tie" on the invitation), women should opt for a floor-length gown or cocktail gown, while men should wear a traditional tuxedo. For a semiformal wedding, men can wear dark suits, regardless of time, while women should opt for street-length semi-dressy dresses during the day and cocktail dresses at night. For an informal wedding, men can wear slacks with sport jackets, while women should wear something "appropriate for the location."

Location

Marie Claire magazine recommends using the ambience of the wedding location to help choose your attire. This will help to ensure that you feel comfortable in the atmosphere, so that you can let loose on the dance floor without worrying that you are dressed inappropriately. For a country club, women should don pastel tea-length dresses and avoid any style or pattern that is too loud. For a beach wedding, a printed maxi dress is appropriate. A nontraditional venue, like Las Vegas, allows for edgier and more comfortable clothing---giving you more freedom in choosing a garment.

Colors

While weddings are becoming less traditional and thus allowing greater flexibility in guest attire, there are still some accepted rules that should not be broken. First and foremost, a female guest should never wear white to a wedding. No matter how fantastic you may look or feel in your white dress, remember that the bride spent a lot of money on her gown, and it is her big day. Some etiquette experts recommend avoiding red also, as it can draw too much attention to your garment rather than the bride's. However, some rules are outdated. For example, while you may have heard that it is inappropriate to wear black, now even wedding experts at The Knot admit that a black dress is perfectly acceptable attire, particularly for an evening wedding.

Dictating Dress Code

If you are a bride or groom planning your wedding, keep in mind that you are not entitled to completely dictate what your guests can or cannot wear to your celebration. For example, unless you have a "black tie" event, you cannot prohibit a female guest from wearing a denim skirt that she deems acceptable. The exception to this, however, would be if your venue does not permit certain attire, like denim or tennis shoes. Regardless of your chosen dress code, try to be as clear as possible on the invitation and the wedding website.

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Discover What Wedding Rehearsal Etiquette Is

A prelude to the big event, the wedding rehearsal is a walk-through that assures the bride and groom, the officiant and the families are well prepared for the big day. Typically held the day or evening before the actual wedding, the event is looked upon as a celebration in itself; as it is one step closer to the momentous occasion.

The Rehearsal

All members of the wedding party, anyone who has been asked to speak or read during the wedding and the parents of both the bride and groom are expected to be in attendance at the wedding rehearsal. If there are musicians or soloists involved, they should attend the rehearsal as well. Even out-of-town participants are expected to attend the wedding rehearsal, provided they have been given ample notice, which is of course a big part of proper etiquette.
A proper start to the wedding rehearsal is an introduction of everyone in the wedding party to the wedding officiant, the musicians, and the parents and other family members of the bride and groom.
The entire event will be practiced, from the walk down the aisle to the wedding vows. Readers or speakers will practice their parts, and the officiant will do his part as well. The ushers will practice escorting guests and will learn which of them will usher the bride's and groom's mothers. They will also be instructed on which side of the church or hall will be for the bride's side of the family and which will be for the groom's.

The Dinner

The wedding rehearsal is typically followed by a rehearsal dinner. The dinner may be a fancy affair at a nice restaurant or a casual backyard cookout. According to traditional etiquette, the groom's parents are in charge of hosting and paying for the rehearsal dinner. The bride and groom are supposed to present a list of guests to the groom's parents and to make their wishes about their rehearsal dinner known. Finances must be respected, however. The groom's parents aren't to be expected to pay for a lavish spread if they have a specific budget.
In addition to the people who attend the wedding rehearsal, the rehearsal dinner may also include other close friends or family members and out-of-town guests.

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Divorced Families Wedding Etiquette

Coordinating a wedding and incorporating divorced families create a difficult situation for the bride and groom. Correct etiquette for a couple to deal with their divorced families helps lessen the awkward sentiments among the guests to ensure a smoothly running celebration. Ideally, the divorced parents can act grown up toward each other for their child's sake. If that is not the case, the bride and groom need to show respect for each parent and prepare for the worst-case scenario.

Standard Invitation Wording

If the bride's parents are divorced, she will want to list both parents' names on the invitation. According to Crane & Co., a mother who is not remarried uses Mrs., her maiden name and her married name. Even if only one parent is paying for the wedding and reception, you should still honor both parents on the invitation by listing the mother's name below the father's name without using the word "and" to separate the names.

Remarried Parents and Invitation Wording

A remarried mother changes the wording on the invitation. According to Crane & Co., if the mother has remarried, she uses Mrs. and her new husband's last name. A remarried father does not necessarily mean that the invitation wording must change. Etiquette calls for only you to list only the parents on the invitation. If the stepmother will be offended by not being included on the invitation, the bride can decide whether she is close enough to the stepmother to use her name, too.

Respecting the Host

If one parent covered the cost of the wedding and reception, you might want to show respect by letting the guests know that he is the host. Making an obvious statement about someone paying for the celebration is not necessary. According to Crane & Co., using both parents' names on the invitation demonstrates the tradition of the bride's family giving the bride away and bringing their family together to celebrate. If you must show that one parent paid for the celebration, you can do so on the reception card.

Seating Arrangements

Creating a seating arrangement that will be acceptable to both parents is important in the church and at the reception. If a couple does not get along well enough to sit next to each other, seat them away from each other. According to Frugal Bride, the mother may sit in the front row with the father sitting several pews behind her. They can both sit in the same pew with relatives sitting between them, too. At the reception, the bride can make a seating arrangement with name cards to ensure that the parents sit at separate tables.

Who to Invite

You are never required to invite stepparents if seeing them will upset you. If you have a close relationship with your stepparents, inviting them is a nice gesture that you want them to be included. Inviting stepparents can be a tricky matter if the invitation offends one of your parents. For instance, fights can ensue over whether your mother does not want to see her ex-husband's new wife. Your father may back out of attending the wedding if his new wife is not invited. Although trying to keep the peace may help the situation, some parents will not act mature enough to recognize that the day is only about their child and not themselves.

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