If you've recently been invited to a wedding, but will have to travel out of town for the ceremony, it's best to keep etiquette in mind in the days leading up to the wedding and on the big day. A few courtesies can go a long way in ensuring that the wedding is as stress-free as possible for the bride and groom.
Bringing Children
- It is not appropriate etiquette to bring children to a wedding when the bride and groom have specifically stated that the event is for adults only. Guests who are coming from out of town are also expected to follow this rule, and they should make special arrangements for the children to stay at home with a trusted friend or family member. If a loved one in the town where the wedding will be taking place can keep the children during the ceremony and reception, this is acceptable as well.
Rehearsal Dinner
- According to traditional etiquette, the wedding rehearsal dinner is for the members of the wedding party and clergy. It is not polite for wedding guests who are visiting from another city or state to invite themselves to the dinner or to assume that they are permitted to attend. However, many couples make the wedding rehearsal dinner a time for friends and loved ones to catch up and socialize before the wedding, so it's essential to find out what type of rehearsal dinner will be held prior to solidifying travel arrangements.
Transportation and Lodging
- Out-of-town wedding guests are expected to pay for their own airline tickets or rental cars, as well as hotel lodging, once they arrive in the city where the ceremony will take place. It is best to assume that booking a hotel is necessary, unless the couple, parents of the bride and groom, or members of the wedding party have stated otherwise. To ensure that transportation and hotel rooms are secured for the wedding date, reserve these items immediately after returning the wedding ceremony RSVP.
Buying a Gift
- Friends and family members who have to travel to a loved one's wedding are still expected to bring a gift. If the wedding gift is mailed ahead of time to the parents of the bride or groom, it is not necessary to bring an additional gift to the reception. If the bride and groom are having the ceremony in a place other than their hometown, it is acceptable to give the couple a check as a gift, so that the bride and groom will not have to travel back home with heavy boxes.
Additional Activities
- Since the bride and groom will be very busy in the days leading up to the wedding, guests from out of town should not expect to be entertained by the couple. It is best to plan some sightseeing in the area or to enjoy the perks of the hotel to stay occupied until the ceremony. Some couples choose to have a brunch earlier on the wedding day for guests, or a breakfast the day after the wedding to express thanks and say goodbyes--it is considered proper etiquette to attend one or both events while in town.
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